This morning's meditation and connection with my body saw me become very aware of, and centred in, the sexual force of my masculinity; there was a strong presence of being a person with a dick, a person with balls, a person who could use that dick in forceful ways, ways that conveyed and carried power.
My dick is not the weapon of the warrior, although it could be; it is, instead, the magician's wand, a physical focus point for energy I am directing towards an outcome.
As a trans man, my dick is a psychic concept, which, when I wish to engage it, becomes a manifest concept through one of several artificial enhancements I have available to me. I will make it clear, though, I have a penis. It's not tactile or visible until I strap something on, but it is very present in my psychic and sensual awareness of my body. I can feel the weight of it without any intentional thought at all. I usually come to wakefulness needing to wank.
As an asexual man, the fact of my dick existing does not mean I feel any particular need or drive to make others aware of my dick. I have never been especially interested in penetrative intercourse as a form of intimacy; for me, penetration is a manifestation of power, not of intimacy.
I am asexual because intimacy, for me, is at its most intense when it is not focused on genitals, whether mine or other peoples'. I consider sex to be intimacy focused on the arousal of one's partner/s, as a fulfilment of one's own arousal by their partner/s; I am intimate with my wife, and I am genuinely engaged with and connected to her in those times of intimacy, but it often does not involve arousal; I do not need to be aroused to be intimate with her in ways which do not centre genitalia, nor do I need her to be aroused in order to recognise that she has engaged in intimacy with me.
Intimacy can be sexual - for most people, it is. It can be physical but non-sexual, and, for many men, this is where women let us down; women's understanding about men's bodies begins and ends, typically, with "they want you to do stuff to their dick" - and, undoubtedly, many men do, in the same way as many women want their clit interacted with during sex; but men, just like women, have erogenous zones other than our genitals; for me, those are the area between the front of my shoulder and the top of my pecs, and the outside of my hip, as well as the back of my balls. Everyone has their own erogenous zones, and, in part, masturbation should include a sensual exploration of one's own body, so that those zones are known, and can be communicated to a partner.
Intimacy can also be emotional - the drive to be present with your partner/s, while each of you are getting on with your own occupations. The genuine comfort derived from thinking about and being with your partner/s. Deep conversations, and shared experiences.
I believe that the key to moving from the warrior to the magician is learning to engage, value, and prioritise emotional intimacy to the same degree as sexual intimacy; this is what turns your penis from a weapon to a channel, a means to direct energy to fulfil an intention you have already been working with - but a tool which will not always be needed.
My dick is not the weapon of the warrior, although it could be; it is, instead, the magician's wand, a physical focus point for energy I am directing towards an outcome.
As a trans man, my dick is a psychic concept, which, when I wish to engage it, becomes a manifest concept through one of several artificial enhancements I have available to me. I will make it clear, though, I have a penis. It's not tactile or visible until I strap something on, but it is very present in my psychic and sensual awareness of my body. I can feel the weight of it without any intentional thought at all. I usually come to wakefulness needing to wank.
As an asexual man, the fact of my dick existing does not mean I feel any particular need or drive to make others aware of my dick. I have never been especially interested in penetrative intercourse as a form of intimacy; for me, penetration is a manifestation of power, not of intimacy.
I am asexual because intimacy, for me, is at its most intense when it is not focused on genitals, whether mine or other peoples'. I consider sex to be intimacy focused on the arousal of one's partner/s, as a fulfilment of one's own arousal by their partner/s; I am intimate with my wife, and I am genuinely engaged with and connected to her in those times of intimacy, but it often does not involve arousal; I do not need to be aroused to be intimate with her in ways which do not centre genitalia, nor do I need her to be aroused in order to recognise that she has engaged in intimacy with me.
Intimacy can be sexual - for most people, it is. It can be physical but non-sexual, and, for many men, this is where women let us down; women's understanding about men's bodies begins and ends, typically, with "they want you to do stuff to their dick" - and, undoubtedly, many men do, in the same way as many women want their clit interacted with during sex; but men, just like women, have erogenous zones other than our genitals; for me, those are the area between the front of my shoulder and the top of my pecs, and the outside of my hip, as well as the back of my balls. Everyone has their own erogenous zones, and, in part, masturbation should include a sensual exploration of one's own body, so that those zones are known, and can be communicated to a partner.
Intimacy can also be emotional - the drive to be present with your partner/s, while each of you are getting on with your own occupations. The genuine comfort derived from thinking about and being with your partner/s. Deep conversations, and shared experiences.
I believe that the key to moving from the warrior to the magician is learning to engage, value, and prioritise emotional intimacy to the same degree as sexual intimacy; this is what turns your penis from a weapon to a channel, a means to direct energy to fulfil an intention you have already been working with - but a tool which will not always be needed.
The challenge here is that both men and women are told that "men aren't really emotional beings", and we are certainly not taught how to engage our emotions to positively enhance others' experience of our presence with and connection to them.
However, the fact of society not telling you something from childhood is no excuse. Being human means we are capable of learning new things throughout our lives, and being in society means we have an obligation to do so.
However, the fact of society not telling you something from childhood is no excuse. Being human means we are capable of learning new things throughout our lives, and being in society means we have an obligation to do so.
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