Masculinity When It Matters

 

(Black and white image shows a person in a hoodie holding an open umbrella)

Across the UK today, a lot of people will be processing a change to their local government, and the landscape of support, resource provision, and systemic attitudes, that is concerning and upsetting to them.

Many of those people will be men.

Men who have heard for at least five years that they're "everything that's wrong with this country."
Men who have been told, aggressively, day after day, multiple times per day, that "Yes, it is all men! Look at who's running and literally destroying the world!"

Men who've been called rapists simply for inhabiting the bodies they were born in.

Men who were told they "deserved loneliness", that "the male loneliness epidemic needs to get worse."

Men who were told their experience of surviving sexual assault "didn't count".  That the woman who battered them, who attacked them at knifepoint, who stabbed them, who screamed at them in the street, was "just overstimulated, because patriarchy."

Is it any wonder that the party that said "We're going to put a stop to this, we're going to stand up for normal, decent people" are doing rather well today - even though they're racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, ableist pieces of shit who fully intend to rip up the fabric of British society and piss all over it, because they're well funded by foreign authorities, and have cushy beds and plum jobs to scurry off to once they've fucked the rest of us over?

I didn't vote Reform.  I voted Liberal Democrat for my County seat, and Green for my local seat. (Fortunately, the local options only included Labour, Liberal Democrat, Green, and Independent in my area.  I will never vote Labour again while Starmer has anything to do with it.)

But: I can completely understand why many men did. Because there have been times I've wanted to be able to support them, even though they're against everything I stand for, just because it would be so fucking nice to live in a society that could cope with the reality that most men are actually decent human beings, not every man is planning how to get away with raping someone, men get overstimulated too, and "believe survivors" includes male survivors, and particularly male survivors of female perpetrators. (The extreme left love male survivors of male perps, because they can just crow about how "patriarchy doesn't even care about men!!!" - like, thanks; we'd actually worked that one out.)

But Reform, Restore, all the other bullshit bigot bands, are not what masculinity actually is.

Masculinity is inclusive, because masculinity says "I have the strength to protect, and the resources to provide for, everyone.  My identity is known to me, and solid, and I'm not afraid of shifts within it; I know who I am, so I welcome the person you are - you won't change who I am, but I will learn from who you are, and I will enjoy sharing my learning as you share yours."

Masculinity is equitable, because masculinity says "The important point is to get things done; getting things done requires a breadth of skillsets, and all of those skills are necessary to the job at hand, therefore they should all be respected, given what they need to succeed, and honoured in the announcement of 'job done.' "

Masculinity is curious, because masculinity is always looking to improve and enhance, to do more and be more.

Masculinity is not afraid of difference and diversity, because masculinity is secure in itself.

If you want "more masculinity", you can't vote for parties who live and base their policies in fear.